Rant of The Day #1

Why doesn't anyone ever see me? They see Tony, 17 year old punk who likes to joke a lot and take absolutely nothing serious. But they don't see me, 17 year old lost soul who wishes to be found by that one pure soul who never judges. There's probably a handful of people that actually me but they're also lost n this big world of ours. But all we do is hide, we mask ourselves with this disguise so no one notices how lonely we all are, like me, Tony, 17 year old boy who jokes a lot and takes nothing seriously. Everyone likes a joker.

Containment is not healthy. When you contain your emotions, they get bottled up and that adds lots of stress into your body. Then your emotions are slowly released into your body causing harm. They travel thru your body slowly and painfully leaving you in misery. The best part is when it reaches into your eyes, because then your blinded vision becomes so visible that you are able to see the truth. You see all the lies thrown right into your face. You see how fake everyone is, but in return you see what you have became. You now are one sad son of a bitch. At least the pain hasn't hit your head yet or else you would be in an asylum or even better, dead.

Connect

Everyone strives for that one connection. Something as small as just eating the same food can just spark that feeling of not feeling alone. A lot of people like the feeling of others around them, but there are those who likes the isolation. I wish I could say i'm one of them but thats not me, I have constant mood swings that makes me feel one way and times where i feel another. This sparked my awareness of pursuing a future in psychology. Who knows, this may be one of those mood swings and maybe by tomorrow all will be forgotten and nothing i've said would matter.

Stressed

So I recently entered a dark point of my life. I hate to admit it but i've made poor decisions and when I decide to talk to someone that I personally believed that she cared about me turned on me. It was probably the first time i've talked to her in a while and thought that we could catch up but it ended up with her ripping me into pieces. I need to take a break from life, all of this unnecessary noise and go to somewhere peaceful and quiet. I need time, but for now, I don't think I can be around her.